Goo-Gool, Affiliate Espionage, and World Conquest

Tom Thompson asked:

What if the entity known as Google is really an expeditionary force from the planet Ker-N-C, a small green orb in the far-away constellation known only to astronomers called Moo-Lah?

Their chain of command would be: Goo-Gool, the supreme leader, who lives aboard that giant triangular space ship that occasionally shows up over one or the other cities on earth in order to download financial records. Goo-Roos, the field commanders whose job it is to convince earthlings to transfer their funds to Goo-Gool, and the lowest echelon, Soo-Per-Ahf-E-Le-Ahts, who perpetuate the myth that Goo-Gool will make earthlings wealthy, if only they transfer enough of the planet`s resources to Goo-Gool.

Earthlings being the greedy, lazy, and naive masters of the most desirable planet in the galaxy, are fat pickings for these crafty aliens, who will soon own our planet outright, since all our money, from all over the planet, will be in the hands of Goo-Gool and his minions, due to all this espionage.

In the meantime, Goo-Roos and Soo-Per-Ahf-E-Le-Ahts will recruit more and more hapless earth dwellers into the Make- Money-From-Home legions, until governments all over the world are forced to borrow money from Goo-Gool, and soon thereafter, turn over the reins of power to the only “person” on the planet who actually possesses resources.

A bit far-fetched, you say? Well, that theory is downright logical compared to the blind obedience we Super Affiliate wanna-bes show the “gurus”, who keep unloading their re-hashed garbage on us on a weekly basis and telling us it’s the “Next Big Thing” in our struggle to make a living from home.

You see, there are only a few things we really need to know in order to make money from affiliate marketing.
>How to pick products to sell.
>How to build a squeeze page.
>How to build a list.
>How to drive traffic to our squeeze page.

If you know these things, and know them well, you will make money from affiliate marketing. Hey, it ain’t alien technology! You probably have all this knowledge stored on your computer even as you read this whimsical little article. But what if you are new to affiliate marketing and DON’T have this information? Well, shopping for “systems” will make you poor quicker than Captain Kirk’s phaser can turn your body into unassimilated molecules! So, what’s the answer, you may ask? What if you could spend just a little money and get software that would show you exactly what successful marketers are doing in their PPC ad campaigns to make money?

And what if you could copy these profitable campaigns down to the last keyword, knowing before hand exactly how profitable each keyword was?

Live Long and Prosper, Tom Thompson.